


Past the Point of No Return

by miscreate



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ex-Step Siblings, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, It's like Clueless on drugs, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 08:55:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8526904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miscreate/pseuds/miscreate
Summary: She thought about hitting him. No one was there to stop her. But knowing the sort of boys who cackled while little girls cried and dolls burned, even at six, she knew hitting him wouldn’t do any good. He’d just laugh. Proud for making her angry enough to do something to him. 
  That was what he really wanted, anyway.  
  Attention. 
 
  Blue wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kalamos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalamos/gifts), [ibuzoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibuzoo/gifts).



“Hey mom, I made a mistake.” is what she could say. 

 

It was what her mother used to say. Whenever any of the current 300 Fox Way residents brought up the year Blue and her mother had spent up north. 

 

“I made a mistake,” she’d sigh heavily, elbow deep in in the kitchen sink, batting away barbs from Calla. 

 

“It was a mistake!” she’d moan, drunk and laughing late at night with Jimi when she thought Blue was asleep.

 

“Don’t make the same mistake I did,” she’d hiss, her eyes cut into slits when Orla would creak up the stairs 4 am, shoes in her hand and shirt inside out. 

 

She never talked about it with Blue. Maybe she thought Blue had been too young to remember, or care. 

 

Blue _had_ only been six years old at the time. It hadn’t been so bad at first. Mistake, which was all that worthy of referring to him by, gave Blue a present on the day they moved in. Blue loved presents. It was a porcelain doll with big green eyes and long black curly hair. Mistake had ran a distracted hand through Blue’s own lion mane of locks and commented, “Pretty little thing, just like you. Don’t you think, hmm?” 

 

Blue didn’t much care for dolls, but Mistake, who hadn’t yet made himself known as such, didn’t know that. So she accepted the gift with a nod and a grateful smile. 

 

“Where’s Joseph?” Maura had asked. “Too shy to come say hello?” 

 

Mistake snorted dismissively. 

 

“Blue,” her mother touched her back. Blue remembered this part with more fuzz and background noise to it, like something from a dream. “Why don’t you go upstairs and introduce yourself to your brother?” 

 

The memory ended there, for some reason. The first memory she actually had of Joseph was, unsurprisingly, their first fight. He’d stolen her doll, the one Mistake had given her, and set it on fire. 

 

They were home alone, which wasn’t any uncommon occurrence, and no one was around to hear Blue’s screams while her miniature likeness burned in front of her. Joseph sneered while she cried. 

 

“Here,” he said, stepping on the doll’s hair and stomping out the flame. He picked up the doll and handed her to Blue. “You can have her back now.” She looked positively traumatized, her white pillowy dress melted to her skin, her long dark curls burnt nearly to her scalp. 

 

She thought about hitting him. No one was there to stop her. But knowing the sort of boys who cackled while little girls cried and dolls burned, even at six, she knew hitting him wouldn’t do any good. He’d just laugh. Proud for making her angry enough to do something to him. 

 

That was what he really wanted, anyway. 

 

Attention. 

 

Blue wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. 

 

She wiped her eyes and accepted the doll with a hard sniff. “Thank you, Joseph.” She hugged the doll lovingly to her chest. “I like her better this way.”

 

“Why were you crying, then?” 

 

“I thought you were going to break her.” 

 

“She _is_ broken.” 

 

“No, she’s not,” Blue argued back haughtily. “She’s just fine.” 

 

“Dad’ll make you throw her away.” 

 

Blue just smiled at him and went back to her room. She spent the afternoon cutting up an old t shirt of hers that she’d begun to grow out of and fashioned it into a new dress for the doll. She snipped at her fried hair until it looked like something of a purposeful choppy ear length bob. Then she turned the scissors on herself. 

 

When she came down to dinner, Mistake, her mother, and Joseph all wore the same wide open looks of shock. 

 

“Blue,” her mother was the first to speak. “Sweetheart. What have you done?” 

 

Blue beamed as she took her seat at the table. “I gave myself a haircut. And I wanted my doll to match.” She let her eyes linger on Joseph as she spoke, giving him the biggest smile of all. 

 

Mistake cursed in a language Blue didn’t understand. Blue’s mother gave her a quivering sort of look. 

 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Mistake switched to English. “She looks like a queer little boy.” 

 

Blue’s mother narrowed her eyes and reprimanded him by name harshly. “It’s just hair. It’ll grow back.” 

 

Mistake looked at her and it was like he’d transformed into some completely different creature she’d never seen before. Something cold and unfeeling and inhuman. 

 

“That was a very expensive doll.” He didn’t yell, in fact he spoke very calmly and quietly. But the way he said it, Blue would have preferred screaming.

 

Before anyone else could react to the sudden sinister shift in the atmosphere, Joseph spoke up. “I did it.” 

 

Mistake turned to look at him. “What was that? Speak up, Joseph.” 

 

“I did it. I messed up the doll. And Blue’s hair.” 

 

“That’s not true!” Blue yelled from her side of the table. She didn’t know what he was playing at, but this was supposed to be _her_ moment. 

“Yes it is,” he insisted, speaking directly to his father, not even glancing in her direction. “She’s just covering for me because I scared her. I said I’d hurt her if she told.” 

 

“Joseph,” her mother looked at him strangely. “Why would you do something like this?” 

 

Joseph shrugged. “I was bored.” 

 

“Go upstairs,” Mistake’s voice was weary. “I’ll deal with you later.” He turned to Blue and her mother, his face back to regular, though now instead of nice, to Blue it looked even scarier than before. Fake and plastic-like. 

 

“I’m so sorry Maura, Blue.” He shook his head. “There’s something wrong with that boy.” 

 

“So it would seem,” Blue’s mother sounded uncomfortable. Afraid. “Maybe the adjustment has been hard on him. Has he ever been to any kind of counselor?” 

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Mistake with a wave of his hand. “Eat.” 

 

Blue’s mother looked at her for a long moment, they’d been living here for four months now, and this was the first time either of them had wished they were anywhere else. 

 

The next memory Blue had was the confrontation that ensued the next day. 

 

“Get the hell off me!” Joseph, scrawny and short for his age, was very easily pinned under Blue’s weight. 

 

“Not until you tell me why you did that!” Blue growled back. 

 

“Because you’re a stupid little idiot!” Joseph shouted. “Dad would’ve killed you.” 

 

Blue reared back, surprised. “What are you talking about?”

 

“I hate you,” Joseph spat up at her. “I can’t wait until you’re gone.” 

 

“What do mean?” Blue’s curiosity was piqued now. “We’re not leaving.” 

 

“Yes you are,” he panted underneath her. “As soon as dad gets to you, and he will, because you’re stupid, and I can’t cover for you all the time, she’ll take you away.” 

 

Blue suddenly remembered Mistake’s scary plastic face from the night before, his creepy calm voice. _I’ll deal with you later._

 

“You got in trouble,” she said, scandalized. “Does your dad spank you?” Blue’s mother was vehemently against corporal punishment. 

 

Joseph laughed at that, high pitched and hysterical. “Yeah,” he told her with a smile that was even scarier than his father’s fake one. “Yeah, that’s exactly what he does.” 

 

She knew something was wrong, really wrong, but she was too young at the time to understand it. 

She lowered herself down on top of Joseph, forcing him into a tight, fierce hug. 

 

“What are you doing?” She could feel his heart pounding against her own chest. 

 

“Let’s not be mean to each other anymore,” she suggested with all the whimsical wisdom a six year old could muster. “Let’s look out for each other. Like a real brother and sister.” 

 

She pulled herself back upright, pulling Joseph up with her. 

 

“What do you mean?” he finally asked, his voice softer than she’d ever heard it. 

 

“You got in trouble for me and that was nice,” Blue said. “I’d do the same thing for you.” 

 

Joseph shook his head. “That’s stupid. I don’t want you to get in trouble for me.” 

 

“Okay,” Blue said. “What _do_ you want?” 

 

“I’ll keep covering for you when you do stupid stuff,” Joseph huffed. “I’ll make sure you don’t get hurt.” 

 

“And what will I do?”

 

“You’ll...stay with me. No matter what. Even if your mom makes you leave, you have to find a way to come back. So we can be together.” 

 

“Well, that’s easy.” Blue might have even giggled when she said it. She stuck out her pinky and nodded for Joseph to copy her. 

 

“Say your promise,” she commanded, hooking her finger around his and squeezing tight.

 

“I’ll get in trouble for you,” Joseph responded dutifully, like a soldier swearing an oath. “I’ll cover for you. And I’ll protect you from anyone who tries to hurt you.” 

 

“And I promise I’ll stay with you forever. And...if I have to leave…then I’ll just take you with me.” 

 

“You really mean it?” Joseph looked at her, wide eyed and suspicious. 

 

She nodded in earnest. Pinky promises weren’t something to take lightly. “Cross my heart and hope to die.” 

 

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of the memories were garbled clips and chopped scenes that Blue couldn’t tell apart from reality, dreams, and her own brain’s fiction. The next thing she remembered clearly was waking up in the middle of the night, speeding down the highway in an unfamiliar car with her mother at the wheel. 

 

“What’s going on?” 

 

“We’re going home,” her mother said, not taking her eyes off the road. She looked scary. Her hair in tangles, black streaks running down her face. 

 

“For how long?” Blue asked, blinking herself more awake. 

 

“For good,” her mother answered. “I’m sorry, Blue. This was a mistake.” 

 

Blue’s heart turned to ice. She whipped her head all around the vehicle, dizzying herself. Joseph. Joseph. Joseph wasn’t with them.

 

“Mom, we have to go back!”

 

Her mother’s eyes flicked to her for a moment. “I know this is confusing for you, Blue. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I ever put you in danger. He was a bad man.” 

 

“That’s why we have to go back,” Blue grabbed at her mother’s arm. “We have to go back for Joseph! We have to take him with us!” 

 

Her mother sighed, then shook her head sadly. “I’m sorry Blue, we can’t do that.” 

 

“Why not?” Blue’s eyes had filled with tears, knowing her mother’s mind wasn’t going to be changed. “Why not!” 

 

“That little boy is—” Her mother stopped, cleared her throat. “He’s no good, either, Blue. We don’t belong with those people.” 

 

“Joseph!” Blue cried out nonsensically, as if she could make herself loud enough for him to hear her. She pounded on the glass of the window, tears and snot running down her face. “Joseph! Joseph!” 

 

Her mother didn’t tell her to stop, didn’t make any moves to restrain her. She let her punch and kick and scream all the way back to Henrietta, Virginia. 

 

* * *

 

 

At fifteen years old, Blue had a new part time job at a diner not too far from home, a meddling cousin who drove her up the wall, and a curse hanging over her head. 

 

Boys were the last thing she was interested in, so when she was approached by a member of the male gender in an Aglionby uniform, she was nothing if but mildly annoyed that he was in her way. 

 

“Excuse me,” she breathed out, tired and half-hearted, trying to pass him so she could enter the building where she was due for her shift five minutes ago.

 

He stepped where she stepped, blocking her path. “Are you Blue Sargent?” 

 

She looked up. He was tall and dark haired, with a prominent nose and heavy shadows under his deep-set eyes. 

 

She hoisted her bag over her shoulder. “Depends on who’s asking.” 

 

The boy cocked his head at her, seemingly fascinated. 

 

“This is for you.” He said, handing her a package. She accepted it without thinking. 

 

“Wait,” she called after him. “What is this? Who is it from?” 

 

He kept walking. She had half a mind to throw the package at the back of his retreating head. For some reason, she didn’t. She stomped into Nino’s through the back service entrance, ripping open the package with a snarl, annoyed at her own rising curiosity. Inside was a palm sized white box with a sticky note attached that read, _Open Me_.

 

Inside the box was what looked like a brand new iphone. She wrinkled her brow in confusion. Turning it around to the back, another note was revealed. _Turn Me On_.

 

She pressed the home button and the phone glowed to life. It didn’t take her through the set-up process she’d seen when Orla got her iphone (She had made Blue watch. She was a braggart in all things material) but it was free of any apps besides the ones that came with the phone. So it _was_ new. But someone had used it before giving it to her? Was this from the guy she’d been accosted by or was he just someone else’s delivery boy? Who would give her a phone? And why? 

 

She clicked the contacts app and sure enough, there was one single contact programmed into it. The number was unfamiliar. The name was simply listed as _Text Me_. 

 

A voice that might have been Blue’s better judgment told her to throw the phone in the garbage and get on with her work day. She was never one who took too kindly to orders. She bit. 

 

_Who is this?_

 

A reply popped up instantaneously. 

 

**That was fast. Color me impressed.**

 

_Who is this????_

 

Blue waited a good minute or two for a reply, got nothing. She sighed and slipped the phone into the pocket of her server’s apron. She didn’t get a chance to look at it again until her lunch break, six hours later. She’d been fishing for one of the butterscotch candies she always kept in there and froze when her hands touched cool metal. She’d been so caught up in work she’d almost forgotten. She pulled it out and there was a big red **4** on top of the text messaging app. She clicked it, revealing a series of photos from the stranger. They were pictures of pictures. As in someone had taken the originals with a polaroid and then taken pictures of the polaroids with the iphone. She had to swipe at the screen to zoom in on each picture. They all held the same subject, a porcelain doll in increasing states of distress. The last picture feature the doll’s face smashed in with a hammer still sticking out of it. 

 

She had no idea what was going on or who was trying to mess with her, some random mean girl from school, maybe? Who knew. But this was _so_ not the way to get under her skin.

_Points for effort._ she texted back. _But overall, underwhelming delivery. 3/10._

 

Provoking bullies wasn’t ever really the smartest thing to do, but Blue didn’t care. People needed to know she was unflappable. 

 

**Good to know.** said Stranger Danger. 

 

**If that scared you, I would have been disappointed.**

 

_Then what’s the point of this?_ Blue texted back, not sure why she was even indulging this loser. 

 

**You’ve kept your hair short.**

 

Blue frowned at the reply. Was that supposed to be an insult? She was often the star of stupid jokes about her hair but this didn’t make sense to her. It did something weird in her brain. She felt like a bum lighter that was being clicked and clicked and not quite sparking.

 

_Keen observation skills_ , she texted back, though something was unsettled in her stomach.

 

Her break was over. She put the phone back into the pocket of her apron and went back to work. 

 

When her shift was over, she pulled it back out, there were no more new messages. She thought about sending another message herself. Something rude and provocative like, _really, is that all you got?_

 

It didn’t make sense. All that build-up for a few mildly creepy pictures and vague comments? Whoever was behind this was either really bad at pranking or really good at doing...something else. 

 

The unsettled feeling was back now. 

 

It may or may not have kicked up a notch when a new text popped up just at that moment. 

 

**How was work?**

 

_Are you trying to freak me out?_ she texted back. _It’s not working. You’re just pissing me off._

 

**I’m just trying to have a conversation.**

 

**But you’ve been awfully rude.**

 

**I don’t think I’m going to give you your present after all.**

 

_What, you want the phone back?_ Blue replied. _Take it. I don’t care._

 

**No, кукла, keep the phone.**

 

**It’s not a present, just a necessary means of communication that I was forced to provide for you, since you didn’t already have one.**

 

**Your present is in the dumpster out back.**

 

Blue almost laughed out loud at that. 

 

_Ah, now I get it. You want me to climb in so you can either run up and shut the lid on me or take some unflattering pics and pass them around at school? Super cool idea. Very early 2000s teen movie._

 

**You are overbearingly paranoid, кукла.**

 

They’d use those weird characters twice now. Blue had no idea what they meant. But it gave her that same click-click-spark feeling that strange comment about her hair had. 

 

_Paranoia implies a caution for something that’s never happened_ , Blue wrote back. 

 

**Does that mean you’ve been lured into and trapped in a dumpster before?**

 

_It means you picked the wrong girl to mess with._

 

Blue was idling outside Nino’s, seconds from throwing the phone to the dirt and unlocking her bike and going home. What was the point of this stupid game this stupid weirdo was playing, anyway? She hated that she didn’t know why they were doing it or what the endgame was supposed to be. Her curiosity was a deadly thing. A fatal flaw. 

 

She cursed herself under her breath and walked to the dumpster, pocketing the phone and trading it for her pink switchblade. If someone thought they were going to get the jump on her, they had another thing coming. 

 

She stacked up a couple nearby empty milk crates and stood on them so she could peer inside. There was, as one might expect, a lot of trash inside. One large black plastic bag, however, was adorned with a single blank sticky note. Blue reached in and fished it out and hopped down from the crates. She used her switchblade to cut into the bag. She realized two seconds too late there could be something dangerous inside, something that could hurt her. Just as she had this thought, her hand made contact with whatever was in the bag, something hard and covered with some kind of fabric. She pulled the bag away from the object and nearly dropped it as soon as her eyes could take it in.

 

It was another doll. But not the one from the pictures before. This one had short dark hair, very similar to Blue’s, and had been dressed in a crude copy of what Blue assumed was supposed to be her Nino’s uniform. Other than the startling resemblance, there was something else disturbingly familiar about this doll. 

 

Her breath caught in her throat, she dropped the doll to the ground, keeping her switchblade in one hand and taking out the phone with the other. 

 

**She looks just like you, huh?**

 

_Who is this?_ Blue texted for the third time. 

 

**I hoped you’d have worked that one out by now.**

 

**You haven’t forgotten about me, have you,** **малка сестра** **?**

 

The breath in Blue’s throat went sticky and dry, choking her. She clicked the phone icon on the top left corner of the contact name and let it ring. It rang six times before someone picked up. Said nothing. 

 

“Joseph,” Blue spoke breathlessly into the phone. 

 

“Ding ding ding!” A voice sounded loud in her ear and—she spun around, a car pulling up to stop in front of her. It was an obnoxious thing. Bright white and sleek and expensive looking, something straight out of a _Fast and the Furious_ movie. 

 

The window rolled down, revealing the same boy in the Aglionby uniform that had given her the package earlier. He’d changed out of the uniform, swapping it for a white ribbed tank top and thick white plastic glasses. White seemed to be a common theme going on.

 

“Get in,” he said. 

 

“Joseph,” she said again, walking toward the car light like she was possessed. “What are you doing here?” 

 

“Isn’t it obvious, malka sestra?” The boy, Joseph, he was Joseph, gave her a lecherous smile. “Get in.” 

 

“I can’t just leave my bike,” Blue said, taking a step backward. 

 

Joseph sighed and rolled his eyes. “We’ll come back for it. I promise.”

 

“I don’t think…” Blue trailed off, looking back toward her bike. It seemed a million miles away. 

 

“That’s what I like to hear. Don’t think,” She looked back to Joseph in time to see him slowly slide the sunglasses down the bridge of his nose and look at her directly. “Get in the car, Blue.” 

 

The sound of the doors unlocking rattled down her spine. Still halfway shaking off the shock, she reached out and grabbed the handle, opened the door, and pulled herself inside.  

 

Joseph reached past her to shut the door with a final, reverberating bang. “Buckle up, kukla.” He revved the engine as if for punctuation. Blue did as she was told. 

 

“My mom’s expecting me home soon,” she said, feeling like she was reciting lines from a script. “I can’t be gone long. And we have to come back for my bike.”

 

“I promised we would, didn’t I?” Joseph shot off into the night. He turned to her with a look of manufactured innocence. “Want me to cross my heart and hope to die?” 

 

Memories flooded Blue like water in her lungs. She didn’t know what to say. She wished she could have said she’d thought about this moment a lot, but in truth, she hadn’t. She’d been inconsolable for a few weeks after her mother had moved the two of them back to Henrietta. She’d been worried for Joseph, enraged to have been made to break her promise to him against her will. But she’d also been six. And then she turned seven. And then she’d been told she was going to kill her true love with a kiss and that sort of took priority over her worries for quite awhile. Once she’d started bleeding out of her vagina every 28 days and grown an pretty impressive amount of body hair, her time spent making impulsive promises to a doll-burning little boy had been filed away so deeply in her memories it hardly ever ghosted its way to the forefront of her thoughts. She hadn’t forgotten, she’d just...stopped caring. She supposed that was probably worse. Judging by the way Joseph was acting now, she could only guess his thoughts on the matter swung toward that opinion as well.

 

When she found her voice, she asked, “how long have you been here?” 

 

“Since before the school year started,” Joseph answered. “I’ve been watching you.” 

 

“Apparently,” Blue said, shock and confusion and cold uncertain nostalgia giving way to prickling offense. “I’m sure you think that was a very clever little stunt you pulled. Are you taking me somewhere remote to smash my face in with a hammer or what?”

 

“What if I am?” 

 

“I just got off a 12 hour waitressing shift. It’d be a mercy killing.”

 

“You really are paranoid, you know that?” Joseph asked, speeding up the car, a troubling note of mania in his voice. “Can’t a guy make a grand gesture every now and then?”Just wanted to get your attention.” 

 

“You’ve got it,” Blue deadpanned, crossing her arms over her chest. “What do you want, Joseph? An apology? I’m sorry me and mom couldn’t stick around because your dad is an abusive asshole.” 

 

“Was,” said Joseph. 

 

“What?” 

 

“Is would imply that he’s still around,” Joseph said, “Kicking and breathing and all that. He _was_ an abusive asshole. Tense is important, kukla. They aren’t teaching you anything at that public school, are they?” 

 

“I’m sorry,” Blue said, because it was the thing to say when someone told you someone else was dead. “What happened?” 

 

“Don’t be,” he answered with an easy smile. “I killed him.” 

 

Blue snorted. “Alright.” She should have known. Joseph had been a maddeningly sarcastic little prick when he was seven. Nine years hadn’t done much to change that. 

 

Joseph took his hands off the wheel and the car swerved dangerously. Blue found herself careening against the dashboard, her hands slamming out in front of her to brace the impact. 

 

“What are you doing?” She huffed, her heart skittering in her chest. 

 

“I _could_ kill you,” he told her, voice generous and pleasant, like he had just offered her a ride to school the next day. “If I wanted to.” 

 

“Go for it,” Blue scoffed, pushing herself back into the seat. “I’ve got a chemistry test tomorrow that I didn’t study for.” 

 

That actually got a real smile out of him. He cut the engine, bringing the car to a halting stop. 

 

“I should have known it would be too hard to stay mad at you,” he sighed, perching his sunglasses on top of his head. He leaned forward, invading Blue’s personal space. His face stopped a mere centimeter from hers. 

 

“Menthols?” she asked, taking note of the smell of his breath that was cool on her face. 

 

“I’ve picked up a few bad habits since you last saw me.”

 

“A few, huh?” Blue looked away. 

 

“Come on, sestra, aren’t you even a little bit happy to see me?” Joseph asked, his hand snaked forward, curling around her kneecap. “I’m happy to see you.” 

 

“Yeah, there’s a lot evidence here supplementing that statement.” 

 

“Big words for such a little girl.” 

 

“Take your hand off me.” 

 

“Why?” 

 

“Because I said so, Joseph.” 

 

The hand was gone. The sound of locks clicked again. It had taken Blue this long to realize they were back at Nino’s. 

 

“Fine.” Joseph’s voice was venomous. “Enemies, then?” 

 

Blue scoffed. “No. Of course not. I’m just tired and I want to go home and you’re being a weird, invasive dick.” 

 

“Go get your bike,” he said, “Shove it in the back. I’ll drive you.” 

 

“I’m good,” Blue reached for the door. 

 

“I don’t want you riding home in the dark by yourself.” 

 

“Thanks for the concern,” Blue rolled her eyes. “See you around, Joseph.” 

 

“Just trying to keep my promise!” He called after her. She picked up her little miniature where she’d left her on the ground and pulled up one of her arms, waving it in Joseph’s direction. Then she tossed it back in the dumpster. 

 

She heard the car pull away as she unlocked and mounted her bike. When she got home, she stopped on the front porch to reach in and pull the phone out of her pocket. 

 

_Got home safe all by little myself._

 

_Are you shocked?_

 

The door opened with a loud creak and Blue startled. 

 

“Where the hell have you—” Orla paused, took in the sight of Blue, then narrowed her eyes. “Where’d you get that phone?” 

 

Blue blinked dazedly at her, then shrugged. “Girl at worked just upgraded and was trying to make a quick buck off her old model. She let me buy it from her cheap.” 

 

“Huh,” Orla mused, suspicion still clouding her gaze. 

 

Blue shoved past her. “I’m tired.” 

 

“Jeez,” Orla scoffed. “Hard day at work?” 

 

“You have no idea,” Blue grumbled, trudging up the stairs and collapsing into bed. 

 

She didn’t know what to think about Joseph being here, in town. Going to school here. Aglionby, of course. She rolled her eyes to one but her ceiling. He would. 

 

She wondered if what he’d said about his dad was true. Not the killing him part. But the fact that he’d died. She wondered if she should tell her mother. She wondered who Joseph was staying with in town. Did he have family here? That’d be an awfully strange coincidence. But he couldn’t have come all this way just...for her...could he? 

 

No. That was ridiculous. Blue’s face went red for even thinking it. 

 

He must have had some other reason for being in town. Aggrieving her was just an added bonus. She’d figure it out the next time she had a chance to talk to him. She stared at the screen of her new phone, waiting for a reply to appear. Minutes ticked into an hour. Exhaustion took hold of her. She blinked at the screen sleepily, still waiting. When she woke up the next morning, it was the phone, an alarm had been set fifteen minutes before the clock in her room usually did. 

 

The events of last night came back to her quickly, a deck being shuffled in her brain. She sat up in bed, disabling the alarm and staring blankly at the text conversation between herself and her only contact. 

 

There was still no reply to her last message. 

 

* * *

 

 

She didn’t hear from Joseph again, though she certainly heard enough _about_ him to drive her mad on daily basis. People at work, people at school, no one could fucking shut up about the mysterious new boy in town. She had to force bile back down her throat listening to girls giggle in the locker room about him. _His dark deep-set eyes, his wild black hair._

 

“He’s kinda hot. Like, creepy-hot.” 

 

“I never see him around during the day.”

 

“Only comes out at night.” 

 

“Maybe he’s a vampire.” 

 

“I’d let him bite me.”

 

Blue wanted to grab them by their ponytails and smash their faces into the floor. 

 

Guys at work bragged about the ragers he’d become infamous for throwing. By the time October was coming to a close, he’d made quite the reputation for himself. Everyone was talking about the Halloween party that was happening at the mansion he allegedly lived in on the outskirts of town. 

Sometimes she couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing all of this just to...bother her. But that was insane. Joseph was a conniving, manipulative sort of creature, but nobody in real life played long cons like this. If he wanted to get to her, he knew where to find her, how to contact her. He hadn’t. Whatever he was up to had nothing to do with her. Which was somehow as insulting as it was a relief. 

 

* * *

 

“Blue!” Orla yelled up the stairs. “Your...thing is here.”

 

“Huh?” Blue appeared at the bannister, pulling out an earbud. 

 

“Whatever you ordered,” Orla was eyeing her oddly, holding up a large white box.

 

“I didn’t order anything.”

 

“It’s got your name on it.” 

 

Blue frowned all through the process of extracting it from Orla and taking it back to her room. 

 

Inside was a gauzy white dress that fell to Blue’s calves when she held it up against herself. Pinned to it, a folded piece of paper. 

 

_Wear this tonight._

 

There was no name. No other instructions. Just an address. 

 

Blue pulled out her phone and texted Joseph. 

 

_How am I supposed to get there?_

 

**You still have your bike, no?**

 

_To your house?????? That’s like a 30 minute ride!_

 

**I can’t come get you, кукла. I am Over The Limit ™.**

 

**But I can send someone.**

 

_Who?_

 

**They’ll be there in 10 minutes.**

 

_That fast?_

 

_WHO?_

 

**Jiang was on a beer run, anyway. He’s close by.**

 

_Who is Jiang?????_

 

**Someone who knows they’re picking up precious cargo.**

 

**Don’t worry,  кукла.**

 

**See you soon.**

 

* * *

 

The dress looked like something Blue would have worn to her first communion, if she had been that sort of person. She had to pair it with fishnets and a pair of beat up black Converse to fix that. She lined her eyes with some dark kohl and smudged it out.

 

Here.  an unknown number texted. She supposed that must be Jiang. 

 

She threw on her oversized denim jacket and headed out the door. 

 

“Where are you going?” her mother wanted to know. 

 

“Where did you get that dress?” was Orla’s follow up question. 

 

“Party.” Blue responded. “It’s Halloween.” 

 

“Of which we’re all well aware,” her mother replied with a sly smile. “Whose party?” 

 

Blue shrugged. “Some girl from school. I don’t know her, but everyone’s going.” 

 

“How are you getting there?” 

 

“A friend’s here to pick me up.” 

 

Orla scoffed. “You don’t have friends.” Jimi smacked her arm. 

 

“Leave her alone, both of you. I hate to break it to you, Maura, but you gave birth to vanilla incarnate. She’ll be fine.” Then Jimi turned her dark eyes on Blue, letting her know this pass wasn’t being gifted to her freely. “Won’t you, Blue?” 

 

“Of course,” Blue said, throwing them all a scandalized look. “I’ve got my phone on me. I’ll check in, call if I need anything. Anyway, my friend’s waiting, so…” 

 

Somehow she made it out the door without any more fuss. 

 

* * *

 

“Thanks for the ride,” Blue said to Jiang as she helped him carry the beer he’d been shuttling into the kitchen. “Um. Do you know where Joseph is?”

 

“ _Joseph_?” Jiang found that funny, for some reason. “Check upstairs.” 

 

“Which room?” 

 

Jiang just shrugged at her. She pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket to take matters into her own hands. 

 

_Well, I’m here. Where are you?_

 

**Upstairs.**

 

_So I’ve heard. Be more specific._

 

**Second room on the right.**

 

_Straight on til morning?_

 

Joseph didn’t reply to that, which she took as her cue to make her way to him. When she found him, the dress she’d been told to wear suddenly made a lot more sense. He was dressed in all black. From his shredded skinny jeans to deep v neck t shirt to leather jacket. It made the white mask attached to the left side of his face stand out all the more. 

 

“Subtle,” Blue commented sourly. “Very subtle.” 

 

“Look at you,” his voice was startlingly breathless. He stepped forward to slide the denim jacket off Blue’s shoulder and fold it in his arms. “ Malkata mi sestra, moyata malka kukla.” 

 

“Stop calling me that,” said Blue, who had eventually made use of the translation app on her phone. “I’m not a baby doll. And I’m _not_ your sister.” 

 

“You were once.” 

 

“Not really,” Blue made a face. “Not in a way that was ever legally binding.” 

 

“You wound me,” Joseph sighed. He held out his fist. Blue bumped it awkwardly with hers. 

 

“No,” he rolled his eyes. “Hold out your hand, silly girl.” 

 

Two tiny rosebud earrings were dropped into her palm. 

 

“You like?” 

 

“Pretty,” Blue admitted, stabbing them into her ears. 

 

“One last thing,” Joseph spun around to retrieve something off what she assumed was his bed. He dropped her jacket there. 

 

A delicate snowy white half-mask was in his hands. He fastened it over Blue’s eyes and smiled diabolically. “Perfect.” 

 

“What is all this?” Blue asked. Joseph’s hands were still attached to the mask on her face. “Why’d you invite me here tonight?” 

 

“I wanted to see you.”  His hands slid down her face and stopped at her jaw. His thumbs stroked gently against her skin. “I’ve missed you.” 

 

“Right,” she said, unaffected and accustomed to his dramatic mannerisms. “That explains why you’ve been ignoring me the past month and a half.” 

 

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” he said, his hands dropping to encircle her neck. “Had to make you miss me, too.” 

 

“Did you?” He asked, his unmasked eye wild with something Blue reckoned she ought to be afraid of. His grip on her throat tightened. “Miss me?” 

 

Blue closed her eyes and swallowed underneath Joseph’s squeezing fingers. He wasn’t doing it hard enough to hurt her. It was a surprisingly pleasant sort of pressure. Grounding, sharpening. Awakening. 

 

“I was made painfully aware of your existence on a near daily basis.” She opened her eyes and gave him a wry look. “Does that count?”

 

Joseph released her and grinned. “That’s a start.” 

 

* * *

 

Blue had to admit, descending the huge spiral staircase with her arm linked in Joseph’s while the entire population of the party seemed to be gaping up at them was altogether pleasing in the headrush it gave her. She found herself smiling maliciously at them. She felt powerful, untouchable next to Joseph, who radiated chaotic influential energy.

 

“Well,” Blue turned to him once they’d reached the bottom. “Now that we’ve made our dramatic entrance.” 

 

“Now,” Joseph pressed a hand to the small of her back. “Everyone here knows you’re mine.” 

 

Blue scoffed as she flushed, pretended to adjust her mask. “Method acting, much?” 

 

Joseph grinned. “Call me committed.” 

 

He led her over to a long leather sofa where she recognized the boy who’d been her ride, Jiang, and a few other people she didn’t know. She settled down next to Joseph and watched as what looked like a cookie sheet was being passed around. When it landed in her lap, she couldn’t believe she was actually looking at real life lines of cocaine. 

 

“Oh,” she felt her face go hot. “Oh. Um. No.” 

 

She looked frantically up at Joseph for help. 

 

“No worries,” he took it from her and passed it to the boy on the other side of him. He lifted a hand to take ahold of her chin and tilt her face upward, his thumb pressed possessively against her lips.

 

“Forgot you’re a good girl.” 

 

“Hardly,” Blue jerked out of his grasp. “I just don’t do drugs. Do you…?” 

 

His voice was infuriatingly amused. “Are you gonna tell on me?” 

 

Blue shrugged. “Do whatever you want.” 

 

“I won’t,” He said. “Not tonight. Not if you don’t want me to.” 

 

“I don’t care what you do.”

 

“Do you want something to drink?” 

 

“I don’t want to get drunk.” God, she really did sound like a square. 

 

“You’re sprite-sized, but I don’t think one drink is gonna do you in."

 

Blue rolled her eyes. “Not what I meant. I have had alcohol before, Joseph.” 

 

“Wow,” he widened his eyes. “One whole alcohol?”

 

“Go fuck yourself,” she stood up. “I _am_ going to find something to drink.”

 

“I’ve got people making stuff in the kitchen,” He grabbed onto her hands and squeezed them in a way that was almost...affectionate. “Tell them I sent you for something good.” 

 

The next thing Blue knew, she was horizontal, her eyes blinking slowly into awareness. She sat up suddenly, her heart pounding in her chest as she took in her unfamiliar surroundings. She felt something move beside her. Hands reached out to grip her hips. 

 

“S’six in the morning, kukla, go back to sleep.” 

 

She staggered out of bed, panting as she tried to catch her breath. This was a dream. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. She hadn’t—she…

 

Joseph was sitting up in his bed now, shirtless, eyeing her curiously. 

 

“What…” she rasped, her throat painfully dry. “What happened?” 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“Why am I...what…what…how…” She was hyperventilating now. She was still wearing the dress from last night, but her shoes and fishnets had been removed. “What happened to my clothes?” 

 

Her hysteria must have been apparent, Joseph was wide awake now. “They’re, like, on the floor somewhere. Come here.” 

 

“What the fuck!” Blue shrieked. “What did you—what did you do to me?” 

 

“What are you talking about?” 

 

“Why are half my clothes off?” 

 

“Uh, because you took them off?” 

 

“No, I didn’t.” 

 

“You definitely did. I was there.” 

 

Blue shook her head, eyes filling up with tears. This was not possible. This was not possible. 

 

“I don’t understand,” she choked out. “I didn’t... I don’t…” 

 

“You don’t remember?” Joseph asked, eyebrows raised. “Not surprising.” 

 

“Remember what?” Blue shouted. “What _happened_?” 

 

“You just got super drunk, is all,” Joseph shrugged. “You were smashed when I found you.” 

 

“ _Found_ me?” Blue didn’t know if she believed him, or what to think at all, really. “Found me where? When?” 

 

“Like a couple hours after you left to get a drink? I don’t know. I figured you were off having fun so I let you be. When I did go looking for you, you were slumped against a wall, babbling nonsense and practically falling asleep standing up. So I brought you up here and you passed out. How much did you have, anyway?” 

 

“Nothing!” Blue shook her head, trying to absorb everything Joseph had told her. She didn’t know if she believed him or not. “I had one drink!” 

 

Joseph cocked his head at her, dubious. 

 

“I’m serious!” Tears were falling freely now. “You _told_ me to go ask someone to make me something and I had one drink and then I just...I just don’t...remember...” 

 

“Wait.” Everything about Joseph’s demeanor shifted in an instant. “Who made the drink?” 

 

“I don’t know!” Blue shrilled at him. “Some...guy?” 

 

“What did he look like?” 

 

“What are you not getting about this?” Blue spat. “I. Don’t. Remember.” 

 

Joseph was out of bed now, walking toward her. 

 

“Don’t touch me,” Blue snarled. “Stay. Away from me.” 

 

“I’m trying to help you.” 

 

“Help me…” Blue repeated dully. “Right.” 

 

Was this was it had all been leading up to? The phone, the taunting text game, the doll in the dumpster, the dress...everything? Flashes of last night sucker punched her in the gut. _Now everyone here knows you’re mine._ Blue felt like she was going to throw up. But the thing about Joseph Kavinsky was that when he did anything, he did it to get a reaction. That was his game. And no reaction meant he’d lost. She caught her breath and swallowed. 

 

Calmly, she announced, “I’m going home.” 

 

“Look, If you think someone dosed you—” 

 

“Oh, God. Just shut up.” Blue located her shoes and sloppily attached them back onto her feet. She pulled her jacket around her. The tights could stay here. She didn’t care. She didn’t want them anymore. “I know it was you. And I don’t care. I just want to go home.” 

 

“Me?” Joseph’s dark eyebrows shot up. “You think _I_ put something in your drink? I was nowhere near you. I didn’t even know where you were.” 

 

“ _Tell them I sent you for something good,_ ” Blue threw his words from last night back at him. 

 

“So, what? You think I orchestrated it, then? Jesus, Blue, you are _fucking paranoid_.” 

 

“And yet funny how you came to the same conclusion.” 

 

“You’re not exactly being subtle,” Joseph scoffed. “You know what? Forget it. If that’s what you think, then go. Fuck me.” 

 

“I’d rather die,” Blue leveled him with the most disinterested gaze she could muster, and fled. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

The summer of Blue’s sixteenth year, something happened. 

 

She’d been stupid. Very, very, very stupid. Multitudes of stupid. 

 

She curled her knees up to her chest, sitting on a nest of paper towels on the bathroom floor of a CVS. 

 

She’d been staring at the screen of her phone for a good 20 minutes now, her thumb hovering over the send button. At some point she either made a decision or her finger spasmed. 

 

_I need your help._

 

No pretenses, no explanation. If he was going to be any help at all, then that would have to be enough. 

 

But, just in case he thought she was talking about math homework, she added, 

 

_It’s...kind of an emergency._

 

**What kind of emergency?**

 

Blue’s heart pounded at the contact. She hadn’t spoken to Joseph since...the morning after that party. Eight months later and she still didn’t know what had happened that night. 

 

She’d been afraid of something like this. The thing that was happening, right now, currently. She typed words and deleted them and typed some more words and deleted them. Finally, she sent: _Can you come get me?_

 

**Where are you?**

 

Blue dropped a pin on her location. She’d never gotten rid of the phone. She’d thrown away the earrings and burned the dress. But the phone was...well..practical. She’d gotten used to the luxury of having one. And it was the only thing that she had to communicate with Joseph with. Should she ever decide to again. She didn’t know why it was even something that was up in the air as a possibility. And yet, here she was. Backed into a corner. Both literally and figuratively at the moment. 

 

“So what’s the big emergency?” he asked once she’d entered the car. She kept her gaze out the window, not looking at him. 

 

“Can you go somewhere?” 

 

“Where?” 

 

“Not here.” 

 

He stopped on the side of a faraway road. “Alright. I’m on the edge of my seat, here. Are we burying a body or what?” 

 

Blue reached into her pocket and handed him the stick. 

 

“Oh, wow.” He said, his voice an octave of genuine sobered shock she’d never heard from him. “Fuck. Is this for real?” 

 

“No,” she drawled numbly. “I’m joking. Ha ha.” 

 

“And who, may I ask, is the culprit?” 

 

Blue scoffed and shook her head. “No one important.” 

 

“No one’s important,” said Joseph. “But if I’m going to kill someone, it helps if I know their identity first.” 

 

Blue took the stick back. “I didn’t ask you to kill anyone.” 

 

“I thought it was implied.” 

 

“He freaked when I told him,” Blue said. “I mean, understandable, I guess. He wasn’t...we weren’t..whatever. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t matter.” 

 

Joseph hummed in agreement.

 

“He’s not the problem,” Blue sighed. “I...I can’t tell my mom. I mean, she’d be cool about it. But. It’s a lot of money.” 

 

“What’s a lot of—oh. Right.” 

 

“I’ve been reading up on how I can, like, do it. Without parental permission and all that. It’s gonna be a fucking process. And.” Blue sighed. “Expensive.” 

 

“Nothing’s expensive,” said Joseph. “But tell me about this ‘fucking process’. What do we do first?” 

 

“We?” 

 

“You are asking for my help, aren’t you? Or have I misjudged the situation?” 

 

“No,” Blue pressed her hands between her thighs. “I’m asking for your help.” 

 

“Alright then,” he nodded once. “Tell me what I need to do.” 

 

* * *

 

If Blue was being honest, the most eventful part of the whole ordeal was during their first preliminary visit with the doctor who gave Blue the consultation about what would be happening and made sure her decision was hers and she was positive she wanted to do it. Halfway through her monologue, she’d looked at Joseph and said, “And as the father, how do you feel about this?”

 

Blue had nearly choked on her own breath. Her face flushed at the doctor’s false assumption. Joseph simply pulled out a cigarette and stuck it behind his ear and said, “I don’t see why it matters, but I don’t give a fuck.” 

 

It was the first time in the past few weeks that Blue had actually wanted to laugh. 

 

 

* * *

 

She told her mom she was spending the weekend with a girl from school. They’d been partnered together for an English project and totally slacked. It was due Monday. 

 

Lying was becoming frightfully easy to get away with. 

 

“Don’t get excited,” she said, when she entered Joseph’s bedroom in nothing but her bra and a pair of his sweatpants. “The shirt just looked absurd. You’ve got an exceptionally long torso.” 

 

“You alright?” 

 

“Don’t.” 

 

“Don’t what?” 

 

“Treat me like a terminal cancer patient.” She flopped down on the bed beside him. The last time she’d been in this bed—

 

“Well in that case,” he handed over the cigarette in his hand. “Smoke up, Baby Blue.”

 

She took it from him. 

 

She closed her eyes. Opened them. 

 

“What are you waiting for, Christmas? Don’t ash in my bed.” 

 

She did not let any ash fall onto Joseph’s obnoxiously expensive sheets. Instead she found herself looking down at her own bare chest, the glowing tip of the thing in her hand seemed to fall down in slow motion and in fast forward. Too fast for her to move, to react. She blinked down at the tiny mound of hot ash sizzling into her skin. It didn’t hurt. 

 

Long pale fingers entered the frame of her vision, flicked it away. That hurt. 

 

“Ouch,” she said, the cigarette plucked from her feeble grip. 

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

 

“Nothing,” she said. “I don’t know.” 

 

“That’ll scar.” 

 

She looked down at the angry red spot on her chest. It made her think of Mars. “Okay.”

 

“Whatever they’ve got you on, I’m repossessing it.” 

 

“Nothing,” she said. “I’m just tired.” 

 

“Sleep,” said Joseph. It made her think of being a little girl again. The way Mistake had said, _Eat_. 

 

She felt bad for comparing him to his father. Traitorous for even thinking it. He wasn’t like him. He wasn’t a good person. But he wasn’t like _him_. 

 

“No,” she said, rolling over onto her side, eyeline with Joseph’s bare chest. She closed her eyes. 

 

She felt his weight shift beside her, leave the bed. 

 

Something cold and wet slapped against her arm. She startled, blinking her eyes open. A wet rag dripped down her shoulder. 

 

“Clean the ash out or it’ll get infected.” 

 

Blue grabbed for the rag, dragged it across her chest. It stung badly. Her eyes watered. The pain had finally brought her back from whatever foggy realm she’d checked into for the past 20 minutes. The spot on her chest didn’t remind her of anything interstellar or otherworldly anymore. It just looked gross. 

 

“I need to put something on this.” 

 

“I know, stupid.” Joseph hissed condemningly. “That’s what I’m telling you.” 

 

He handed her a bottle of rubbing alcohol. 

 

“That’ll burn.” 

 

“Suck it up.” 

 

She had demanded he not treat her with kid gloves, after all, hadn’t she? He was nothing if not obedient. 

 

The alcohol was still pulsing painfully against her skin by the time Joseph settled himself back into bed. 

 

He lit up another cigarette and took a long drag. She watched him blow the smoke out slowly. She watched him take the cigarette and stub it out against his own bare chest. 

 

“There,” he said, cleaning up his own wound. “We match.” 

 

She smiled weakly. “Now who’s stupid?” 

 

“Still you.” 

 

“You should sleep,” he reminded her. “You look like shit.” 

 

“Thanks,” she croaked. “I’m not tired.” 

 

“Yes you are.” She felt a finger circle covetously around her belly button. “Your stomach’s hairier than mine.” 

 

“What do I win?” 

 

“My internalized alpha male complex.” 

 

“Internalized?” 

 

“Deeply repressed. Years left to unlearn.” 

 

“I’ll take it.” 

 

“I still haven’t figured out who it was,” he said after a long moment of silence. “It could have been anyone. There were a fuckload of people here that night. But, anyway. I’m glad it’s taken me this long. It’s just given me a lot of time to think about what I’m going to do to them when I find out.” 

 

Blue opened her eyes, blinked up at the ceiling. These past few weeks had been incredibly illuminating. “I’m sorry I freaked out on you like that. You know. Accused you.” 

 

Joseph was silent for awhile, then said, “I’m glad you kept the phone. Figured you might have trashed it.” 

 

“It’s come in handy.” 

 

“I still have your fishnets.” 

 

“Have they come in handy?” 

 

“Not yet. But I’m sure an opportunity will eventually present itself.” 

 

She turned to face him, her still-damp hair falling into her eyes and rolled over so she was on top of him, pinning him down and rubbing her hair against his forehead.

 

“What’s this, now?” 

 

“I’m asserting my dominance,” she explained. “I’m the alpha now, remember?” 

 

“Is that right.” Joseph brought his hands up to cup the back of her head. He pulled himself up to press his lips against hers. 

 

For a moment, she let him. For a moment, she forgot herself, and everything else, completely. 

 

Then she was shoving hard at his shoulders, scrambling away from him. 

 

“You...you kissed me!” 

 

“Yeah,” he said.

 

“You—can’t—kiss—me.” Blue felt like her brain was short circuiting. Like her heart might actually explode in her chest. “Why did you do that?” 

 

“Seemed like a good idea at the time.” He rolled his shoulders back. “You were on top of me and rubbing yourself against me." 

 

“I should have told you,” Blue’s lunged burned with every breath she took. “I can’t...oh God...you shouldn’t have done that.” She sat up, crawled off the bed like the sheets had turned to lava. “Fuck. Fuck. I have to go.” 

 

Joseph sighed in resignation, rolled over in bed. “No one’s stopping you.”

 

“Look, it's just, you don’t understand—”

 

“I’m not worried about it,” he told her. “I’ll see you when you let some hick ass townie get you pregnant again.”

 

“Fuck you,” Blue spat, frenzied. “You have no idea what you just—God. You know what. Never mind. I don’t know why I bother. It’s your own fault.” 

 

“Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.” 

 

“Drop dead.” 

 

* * *

 

The amazing thing was that Joseph Kavinsky did not, in fact, drop dead.

 

This meant one of three things. 

 

  1. The Curse was never real.  

  2. He was immortal and therefore unkillable.  

  3. He wasn’t her true love.  




 

The third option was the most viable. And somehow the hardest to believe. Which meant there was something askew in her brain. It wasn’t like she’d ever thought of Joseph Kavinsky as any sort of romantic...interest. He was...sort of her brother. And she sort of hated him most of the time.

 

Even as the days turned into months and Joseph remained unaffected by her alleged deadly lips, she couldn’t bring herself to contact him again. It was just too...weird. She’d made it weird. Somehow, in a tumultuous relationship with Joseph Kavinsky, she’d been the one to make it weird. Twice, now. 

 

But right now, she didn’t really have another choice. She didn’t want to call her mother and tell her she’d made a mistake. So instead she dialed another number and made another. 

 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he said. “You’re really calling me from _jail_?” 

 

“It’s not like I planned it.” Blue twisted her finger around the cord of the phone. “The jail part.” 

 

“What did you do?” 

 

“I slashed some tires,” Blue sighed. “And set a small fire inside a car.” 

 

“You set a car on fire?” Joseph’s elation bled through the phone. “That’s just not fair,  kukla. You know car arson is my kryptonite.” 

 

“It was a small fire!” Blue repeated. “Which was the result of me slipping a large firecracker through a slitted window.” 

 

“How did you get caught?” 

 

“Security cameras are a bitch.” 

 

“Truer words,” Joseph was somber. “They’ll get you every time. You’ve got to invest in a ski mask. I’m not mad I’m just...disappointed.” 

 

“I’ll remember that for next time,” Blue huffed. “Are you going to help me or not?” 

 

“This relationship is beginning to feel uncomfortably one-sided,” Joseph sighed. “You’ve been cashing in favor after favor. And then cozying up to me and running off. Don’t get me wrong, the bipolar thing, it’s kind of hot. But—” 

 

“Joseph—” Blue was tired. “Please. I’ll owe you. Big time.” 

 

“Works for me,” was his easy reply. “See you soon, little criminal.” 

 

* * *

 

“Would you look at the two of us, brother and sister once more.”

 

Blue rolled her eyes as they drove away from the station. “They told me only a family member over the age of 18 could bail me out. Don’t make it a thing.” 

 

“Coincidence or fate, malka sestra?” 

 

“Neither.” Blue crossed her arms. “Desperation.” 

 

“Mmm,” Joseph grinned. “My favorite.” 

 

“Can you just take me home?” 

 

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” 

 

“And why not?” 

 

“You said you’d owe me. Big time.” 

 

Blue groaned. “God. Fine. What do you want?” 

 

“Tonight.” 

 

“Where am I going to find tonight on such short notice?” 

 

“You should put that rapier wit of yours to good use someday,” said Joseph. “I want you to spend the night with me.” 

 

Blue’s heart stopped and started again in her chest. “Be more specific.” 

 

“We’re always doing everything on your terms,” he told her. “It’s high time I got to call the shots, for once.” 

 

Blue knew she shouldn’t indulge him. She shouldn’t have called him in the first place. It wasn’t like the last time. She could have found another way out. But. She...wanted to go to him. She wanted him to be the one to come to her aid. Like he had so many times before. Those weeks they’d spent together before...it all got ruined..it’d been a nice few weeks. She missed him. There was something about him, something about her when he was around. They did something to each other. Something she couldn’t ever quite stop herself from clawing her way back to, no matter how many times she tried to run away from it. 

 

“First things first,” he said, taking her silence as compliance. “As much as I’d love to believe this was a random act of vandalism, you’re not the type. So tell me what prompted the crime spree.” 

 

Blue sighed, crossed her arms over her chest, slunk down in the passenger seat. “It’s stupid.” 

 

“Doesn’t matter. You have to tell me. It’s part of tonight.” 

 

“This guy I was waiting on the other night at work. I’d come over to clean up the table next to his when he was getting up to leave. He came over and...and he just…” 

 

Joseph glanced at her then back at the road. “Just what?” 

 

“It was the way he did it,” Blue said quietly, after a moment. “Like so casually. So fucking...entitled. Like it was a completely normal thing to do. Like he knew he could get away with it and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.” 

 

“What did he do?” 

 

Blue felt her throat tighten. “It’s...fuck, it’s embarrassing.” 

 

“Blue.” Joseph’s tone was low and threatening. 

 

“He...grabbed my ass. And he, like, pressed himself against me and said something like...I don’t even remember...something about wanting to bend me over the table.” 

 

Joseph was silent for awhile. “And then?” 

 

“And then he left. And I just fucking stood there, frozen, like an idiot. I didn’t even tell him to fuck off or try to push him off me while it was happening. It just..all was so fast and I wasn’t expecting it and...it...I don’t know. Shocked me. And then I couldn’t get over it. He kept coming back into Nino’s and I kept having to wait on him like nothing ever happened I knew he was like, doing it just to fuck with me. Or worse, maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he does this shit to girls all the time and I wasn’t even worth remembering.” 

 

“So you slashed his tires and threw a firecracker into his car?” 

 

“It was an impulsive decision.” 

 

“But you had to have done a little homework, at least.” 

 

“I mean, yeah. I asked around and got his name. And then it was just a simple facebook search away to figure out where he lived. People are much too careless on the internet these days.” 

 

Joseph let out a deep sigh of contentment. “See, now this is exactly the kind of thing I was hoping for.” 

 

“Me getting sexually harassed at my job?” 

 

Joseph cut her a sharp look. Then unhinged his face into a revolting sort of smile. “The last few times we’ve gotten together have been so serious, so dramatic. But tonight, we finally have a reason to have some goddamn fun together.” 

 

“No,” Blue shook her head. “I _just_ got out of jail for getting back at this guy. Perfectly respectful revenge, by the way. Slashed tires are a major inconvenience. And I’m sure he’ll have to reupholster!” 

 

“Let the punishment fit the crime,” Joseph mused airily. “Plus, he hasn’t had to pay for reporting to the police. That’s a whole new transgression I haven’t even begun to think about the consequences for.” 

 

“Joseph,” Blue groaned. “I want to fuck him up as much as the next person, alright? I just can’t risk him going to the police again.” 

 

“Blue,” Joseph sounded weary. “When I slash tires, metaphorically speaking of course, no one ever calls the police. Now let’s have that address.” 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Empty parking lots are so peaceful at night,” Joseph craned his neck to address the man in his backseat. “Don’t you think?” 

 

The man had duct tape covering his mouth, so he couldn’t answer. 

 

“No? Well, I’ll just have to try my best to change your mind. Kukla,” he turned to Blue, “Can you open the glove compartment for me?” 

 

Blue leaned forward and pulled at the handle until the compartment popped open. Joseph reached into it and pulled out what was so very clearly, in a real up-close way Blue had never seen before, a gun. 

 

Backseat Guy was visibly ruffled by this. 

 

Blue watched in silence as Joseph loaded a single bullet into the cylinder and spun it around. He got out of the car and walked around to re-enter from the back, so he was sitting next to their honored guest. 

 

“I’m going to remove the tape now,” Joseph told him slowly. “But there are _rules_ , my good man. And it is very, very important that you understand them. Do you follow me so far?” 

 

He nodded. 

 

Joseph smiled. “Oh, now see, this is going to be easy, I can already tell. Alright. First things first, as you might have guessed: no screaming when I rip the tape off. I know it stings a bit, and I _know_ we’re in the middle of nowhere where there’s not a soul within miles to hear you carry on and sometimes that’s just downright cathartic, but I’m prone to migraines and the high pitched frequency of it just _really_ grinds my gears. So no screaming. Are we clear?” 

 

He looked murderous, but he nodded again. 

 

“Great!” Joseph beamed, then unceremoniously ripped the tape from his mouth. Surprisingly, he didn’t scream. Blue was impressed. Joseph had a way with people, she had to admit. He’d told her to pay attention to him tonight and learn a thing or two. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. 

 

“We’re going to play a game,” Joseph told him, his voice going soft and honey sweet. He pressed the gun against the man’s temple. “You look a little nervous, but there’s no need to worry. The rules are really simple. All I do is ask you a question. And then you have to give me the answer that I want to hear. Simple yes or no questions. No explanations needed or critical thinking skills required. Easy as pie. First question.” He nodded up to the front seat where Blue sat, watching them. “That’s my little sister up there. Isn’t she the prettiest little baby doll you’ve ever seen?” 

 

The guy looked at Blue helplessly, a deer caught in oncoming headlights, and she wondered if he truly did not remember her. What he’d done to her. The thought was enough to make Blue grateful that Joseph had a gun to his head. 

 

Finally, he swallowed and gruffed out a reluctant, “Yes.” 

 

“You’re good at this game,” Joseph nodded encouragingly. “I think you’re gonna do well. Alright, next question. Now. This one’s a little harder, so prepare yourself. Did you touch my little sister without her permission?” 

 

He swallowed visibly. Looked back and forth from Blue to Joseph a few times, then said, “No.” 

 

“Oh,” Joseph looked stricken. “Oh, no. I totally messed this up.” He looked up at Blue, back to the man, shook his head miserably. “I completely forgot to tell you one of the rules of the game. There’s no lying allowed. Because if you lie, I have to kill you. I just,”  Joseph pulled the trigger and the man flinched violently, let out an audible whimper of relief when nothing happened. “Click this baby until I land on the motherlode and BANG!” He shoved the gun roughly up against the man’s skull, making him jump. “That’s lights out for you, buddy. But…” Joseph sighed. “Gosh, I don’t know. I feel kind of bad, since it is my fault I forgot to tell you about that rule. I guess I can let you off this one time with a warning. But now that you know all the rules, you’ll be able to follow them. All you have to do, is tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you might just make it out of here tonight with one heck of a story to tell.” 

 

“Now, Joseph took a deep breath. “Let me ask you again. Did you touch my little sister without her permission?” 

 

“Yes,” the man answered without hesitation. “Listen, man, I’m s—” 

 

“No no no,” Joseph put a finger to his lips. “None of that now. You know the rules. You answer yes or no. And that’s it. And you said yes, which is not at all what I wanted to hear. Brace yourself.” Joseph pulled the trigger again. Nothing. Blue felt transfixed, her veins tingling with the thrill of watching the scene before play out. She didn’t know what Joseph was planning, but the man was clearly terrified, and that was enough entertainment in and of itself. But the way Joseph had him yanked up as if by strings, ready to move at his command. It was an incredible thing to behold, really. 

 

“Whew,” Joseph shook his head. “You’re one lucky duck, aren’t you? Alright. Next question. After you touched my little sister without her permission—I’m really mad about that, by the way, but that’s something we’ll deal with momentarily—did you say something to her that I’d say falls under the category of...disgustingly inappropriate?” 

 

The man left out a long, shaky breath. He was flushed red in the face, his eyes downcast. He looked suddenly unafraid and just...resigned. He thought Joseph was going to kill him and he’d accepted it. Somehow, Blue was surprised to find, this was even more satisfying than his fear. 

 

“Yes,” he grit out between bared teeth. 

 

Joseph pulled the trigger. 

 

“Next question,” his tone was clipped, the lovable maniac pretense dropped. “When my little sister decided to seek out some well deserved revenge, you decided to report her to the police. Is this true?” 

 

“Yes,” the man answered quickly, he was ready for it to be over. Blue understood what Joseph was doing now. It wasn’t about scaring him. It wasn’t even about killing him. It was about drawing it out, pulling his strings so tight that by the end of it he’d be begging to die. Blue was in awe. 

 

“Alright. Last question.” Joseph’s voice had gone ice cold. “I know I said no critical thinking skills required, but I gotta admit, I didn’t expect you to make it to the bonus round. So indulge me. I need you to think back to before tonight. Before you and I met, that is. Before tonight: did you feel bad about what you did to my little sister?” 

 

“Remember,” Joseph lifted the gun and tipped it at him like a wagging finger. “No lying.” 

 

The man closed his eyes for a long moment. His lips twitched silently. Blue thought maybe he was praying. Finally, he said, “No.” 

 

Joseph let out a long, disappointed breath. “That’s too bad.” He returned the muzzle of the gun to press against the man’s temple. “That’s,” Joseph pulled the trigger with a resounding click. 

 

“Really.” 

 

_Click_. 

 

“Not what I wanted.” 

 

_Click_. 

 

“To hear.” 

 

_Click._

 

The man was shaking uncontrollably now, his eyes clenched tightly shut, his breath coming out in short, pathetic little gasps. Blue had to cover her mouth with her hands to keep from laughing. 

 

“Now, the funny thing about this,” said Joseph, opening up the gun and exposing the cylinder to the traumatized man, “is that I took the bullet out when I was walking to the backseat. Pretty neat trick, huh?” 

 

The man let this information soak in, process, and his muscles slowly began to relax. “Th-thank you.” He stuttered out, still shaking like a leaf. “I p-promise I w-won’t ever do s-something like th-this again.” 

 

“Aw,” Joseph wrinkled his nose. “That’s so sweet. But there’s no need to thank me. Because you already did it to my little sister, so whatever you do with the rest of your life doesn’t mean fucking shit to me.” He looked up at the passenger seat to where Blue sat stone still, hypnotized by everything she’d just witnessed. With a jerk of his chin, he motioned for her to get out of the car. 

 

For what it was worth, the guy took direct hits to the body with a steel baseball bat in stride. Blue watched him go down, stay there, writhe with each blow, his blood spraying the light gray asphalt around them, decorating the parking lot like a Jackson Pollock painting. 

 

“Stop,” she said suddenly, just as Joseph was about to deliver another crippling blow to the guy’s ribs. 

 

Joseph looked up, ran a hand across his sweaty brow. “Are we done?” 

 

Blue shook her head, stepped between the man’s legs and kicked him as hard as she physically could in the groin. It was the first thing that had been done to him all night that got a ripping scream out of him. 

 

She smiled, pride rippling through her. “Hold him up for me.” 

 

When she was finished, her pink switchblade coated red with blood, a crudely etched message sliced superficially into the man’s abdomen, she threw her head back and gathered all the saliva she could, tipped her head forward and spit in his face. 

 

She let out a hard, steadying breath. “Now we’re done.” 

 

* * *

 

 

Blue couldn’t help the fit of giggles that erupted out of her as they flew down dark country roads, the windows down, cool air blasting against her face and whipping her hair around in all directions. Her nerves were electric, she was powerful, invincible, untouchable. 

 

“Pull over,” Blue commanded arbitrarily, dizzy at her world transformed into a merry-go-round. 

 

Joseph turned to her, quiet pleasure clear on his face. “Did you have fun tonight, baby doll?” 

 

“Yes,” she whispered breathlessly. She closed her eyes, let her head fall against the seat behind her. “Thank you.” 

 

“Hey, tonight’s been all about me,” he reminded her. “But I had a feeling you might enjoy yourself.” 

 

“I remember that night so clearly,” Blue just felt the words fall out of her, like someone had pulled a string on her back. “Waking up in a car. My mom speeding down the highway like a demon. When I realized what was happening, I just...lost it. I mean, I know I was a little kid and little kids throw tantrums but...it was like something...inhuman took over my body. I was punching the door, slapping at the window, kicking at anything my feet could reach. And I just kept _screaming_ your name, over and over, like that was going to do anything. Like you’d be able to hear me. And then after awhile I was just screaming. Not even saying anything, just _screaming_.” Blue scoffed out a bitter laugh at the memory.  “I couldn’t talk for weeks after.” 

 

Joseph didn’t say anything. 

 

_I didn’t want to leave you_ , she wanted to say.

 

_You weren’t supposed to kiss me_ , she should have told him.

 

“Joseph,” she said. 

 

“Why did you do all this? Bailing me out. Not just tonight but every time. Everything else you’ve done. Why did you come to Henrietta?” 

 

She formed her hand into the shape of a gun and pressed it to his temple. “No lying allowed.” 

 

He smirked, his dark eyes looked even sleepier than usual. “Come on, Blue. You know the answer to that.” 

 

“You did it for me,” she said. “You did all of it for me. But why?” 

 

“Because I love you,” he said, uncomplicated. “Because you’re mine.” 

 

“Yours, huh?” Blue’s laugh was croaky. “And what about you? She pushed herself out of her seat to hook her leg over Joseph’s lap, straddling him. “Are you mine?” 

 

He stared at her, his eyes almost frighteningly insane in their sharp lucidity. “What do you think?”

She thought: You kissed me and you didn’t die. 

 

She thought: You are not my true love. 

 

She thought: Maybe the curse is bullshit.

 

She thought: I love you, too. 

 

She said, “I don’t think,” and brought her lips down to meet his. 

 

She loved the warm, wet slide of his tongue in her mouth, she loved his iron-wrought grip on her hips, she loved his hair through her fingers, his lips hot against hers, breathing hard into her, giving her new life. 

 

“Joseph,” she whispered, over and over and over again. He ran his hands up and down her body. She let her fingernails dig into his skin. They rocked against each other, hungry and wild and messy, he slid his fingers deep inside her, kneading her body like clay, heating her from the inside out until she burst into flames, cooling into something entirely new. Self-made. 

 

She shoved him out of the driver’s seat and sat down. 

 

“What’s this, now?” he asked, quietly amused. 

 

“I’m leaving,” she told him, starting up the car and reveling in the feel of the thrum of the machine she was inside vibrate in time with the one inside her. “And I’m taking you with me.” 

**Author's Note:**

> кукла / kukla = baby doll/doll
> 
> малка сестра / malka sestra = little sister


End file.
